the human brain is definitely a muscle. When you use it regularly, you can actually feel your thoughts getting clearer, sharper.
I haven’t had to do anything intellectually rigorous for the better part of 6 years. For a brief period of time I was writing regularly, but even that, I’ve stopped.
My friend Romero encouraged me to start up again. So I did. I wrote something.
The next day when I read it, it made my head hurt. He and I chatted.
ME: “So did you read it?”
HIM: …it was a little hard to read.
ME: a little incoherent.
HIM: Yeah
ME: I know. brain = fuzzy.
HIM: I didn’t know what you were trying to do with me.
In retrospect, maybe it was an amazing piece of writing, because it might’ve made you feel the way I felt writing it. “Maybe there’s something good about [the universe/this article/this moment] but mostly I’m confused, and at this exact moment I want it to go away.”
This is going to take time.
—
If I ever make anything out of this life of mine, one of the first people I will thank will be Erin Autin. She has made me feel like I’m a real Writer for years. I haven’t forgotten you Julie Beller, it’s just that Erin commented on this most recent writing disaster.